Why Me?

I've had the opportunity to read a lot of books, recently. Thus, I've had a lot of people engage me with a lot of different ideas. One thing that I have found is that it is fun to read books that make you think. In our ReFocus meetings, Genetta has us read some crazy stuff, not necessarily because the authors are correct in their thesis, but because they challenge you to think. Those types of books are great.


One interesting idea that has come up in a few of the books is the narcissistic view of many Christians. Thus, people say that, "Jesus died for me." People thank God "for all that you have done for me." We sing songs like, "I'll Fly Away" that talk about us blowing this joint the moment that we pass on. We talk about what the pastor does for me. We talk about how church meets my needs.

This post is simply question begging. It's more of an exercise in free-thinking than providing timeless truths of God's Word. Perhaps you'll dialogue with my thoughts. Perhaps you won't. Regardless, I'm thinking out loud and I hope you find something that engages you.

I know there are many narcissistic Christians. I know there are many selfless Christians. One name that immediately comes to mind in the latter category is Dr. Bob Black over at Southern Wesleyan University. We used to joke on campus that he was the definition of Wesleyan holiness. If you're going to be the butt of a few jokes, that's a good one. I remember when my first semester was complete, he called me a few days into my break (and his!). He had written out my entire plan for the next four semesters to ensure my graduation. My wife and I were very impressed. I did not have one professor at SWU that I couldn't stand. On the contrary, I dearly loved every one of them, but Dr. Black had a sort of compassion that I never had seen in somebody else. He was tough, but in a loving sort of way.

On the other hand, I've seen churches who have been rendered useless by the constant bickering and unwillingness to cooperate with others who have different opinions on how church should be done. I've seen an entire movement built on the idea that being a Christian means having access to God's material blessing. Lakewood Church in Houston, pastored by Joel Osteen, has 40,000+ members. His theology is that God blesses abundantly, meaning you will have all the material possessions that you want. This form of narcissism is at the extreme end of the spectrum.

The more moderate narcissist is found in many normal churches. This individual comes because they like the pastor's preaching, the worship team's music, the aesthetics of the sanctuary, the children's ministry, and the people that they worship with. If one or more of these things go away, then the person becomes disinterested and goes away.

This problem is not generational. The younger generation accuses the older generation of being too set in their ways, but the younger generation is not nearly as flexible as they would have you think. Thus, we are focused on what blesses me, what helps me grow, and what makes me happy. We gravitate to churches that are our style. We come to the Lord so that we may go to Heaven. Now, I'm not saying we should go to a church that is totally dysfunctional, but perhaps we should select a church that can use us for mission. Perhaps we should select a church where we can bless others, not where we can be blessed.

And in terms of our faith in God, let me ask you this: If there was no eternal life, would you still worship God? If you were to receive no reward from God for service to Him, would you work for Him? If you got nothing out of your pastor's sermons but were used in effective Kingdom building, would you still go? If you loved contemporary music, but the church really loved the hymns, would you still attend? These questions are not easy to answer, and I cannot pretend that I would respond in the affirmative to them. My prayer is, however, that God would allow me to. I don't want to serve God for me. I want Him to have all the glory, but I don't know if I want it badly enough, yet.

I've been reading a lot of Scripture dealing with the idea of living for others. I'm convinced that the Bible teaches the Christian to forget about self and live solely for others. I'm just not sure how that's done. I'm not that mature. Regardless, I know that it is God's will for me, for you, and for His entire Church.