How To Become A Bad Parent

The answer is fairly simple - have kids.

My daughter has a habit of making me look like a terrible father. She is like the ocean; if you turn your back on her, she knocks you over.

Today, I was attempting to play tennis on my new Wii console. I'm able to keep a pretty good eye on her, even when I'm whacking around a virtual tennis ball. I notice when she's trying to get the camcorder out of our end table. I am aware of when she's trying to put those smooth stones from our coffee table's centerpiece (now relocated to the other end table) in her mouth. I can figure out when she's going into the bathroom to read, er, I mean rip apart our stash of Reader's Digest magazines. This morning, I had my eye off of her for two seconds and I knew that since she wasn't in my sight, she was doing something forbidden, possibly life-threatening. To my dismay, I found her pulling yet another cover off of the electrical socket so that she could figure out how to put it back in.

On Thursday, I was doing something fairly routine. Every morning, like clockwork, she soils her diaper in the most smelly fashion, minutes before we are ready to go see Mrs. Judy, her child-care provider. I've developed a bit of a strong stomach, but one day, her morning offering caused me to run to the bathroom to make an offering of my own. This morning, her present to me was especially smelly. I was horrified to find out that there were no wipes in her little box. It is a simple motion to reach down to grab another bag of wipes. They are in the dresser upon which her changing pad rests. Upon grabbing the wipes and beginning the process of opening the bag, she reached for the bag, falling off the table and onto the floor, landing squarely on her back. I was more hurt than she was.

My wife and I bought a brand new minivan on Friday. On Wednesday, we were at the dealership negotiating a price for the vehicle. Natalie had the time of her life. She romped around the dealership, talking to everybody who would make eye contact with her. She made a friend in one of the female members of the sales staff. She even tried to play with another customer's baby. On the test drive, our salesman was talking about his son who is two days younger than Natalie. He told us how he taught his son to say, "Touchdown!" to which Natalie reached up her arms and exclaimed, "Touchdown!" Later, when we were in his office, Cheryl set Natalie down to reach for a notepad. Natalie, seeing that the gates were wide open for an escape, charged out of the office and onto the showroom floor. She nearly ran right into a car that was backing up. The operator was clearly oblivious to the oncoming two-foot tall toddler, the likes of which generally don't escape on the showroom floor. My wife screamed. People immediately took notice. It was quite embarrassing.

If my eyes are off Natalie for a second, she is off doing something forbidden. Since she has no clue about the dangers that this world contains, she can find herself in real trouble.

Faith is the same way. It cannot be neglected. It cannot be ignored. If you turn your back on God for even a second, you will find yourself wandering into dangerous areas where you need not be. Further, the road to safety is a narrow one. Jesus said that the path to righteousness is a narrow one. If I may be so bold as to add to what our Lord said, but it is also full of wonderful looking treasures to get our attention off goal at the end of the road. Keep your eyes on God.

p.s. As I was writing this, Natalie decided to stick one of her blocks in the blower for our wood stove. Arrrggg.